Sick of the Metro?

So I’m on the train this morning, listening to my favorite driver give us thirty-second updates on why, exactly, we are stopped right before Reagan, tilting to the right because the track is curved right here but that is where he chose to stop. Very precarious.

Apparently there were delays because someone was “sick on the train” at L’Enfant. I have heard of this phenomenon occurring so many times on other lines (the Blue Line, apparently, just can’t hold itself together today) and I still can’t figure out what that is code for. Could be anything! Has anyone else ever been on one of these cars? What happens to these people?

Anyway, everyone was groaning and muttering and whining and complaining and angrily checking their email, so I jumped on the bandwagon. Found some gems while I was very bizarrely leaning toward the right, and not politically, thought I would share:

DCist, Numbers for McCain/Palin Rally Questioned

So this is interesting: Bloomberg did a story on how no one can agree on the size of the crowd for the McCain/Palin rally in Fairfax last week. We were following the story after some controversy broke out over the initial location for the event, and went with the New York Times’s number of 15,000, which the paper said it got from “The Fairfax City fire marshal.”

Citizen Jane Politics, Talking Taxes: Is Obama or McCain Better for You?

$111,646 to $160,972– McCain: Cut $2,614 / Obama: Cut $2,204

$66,355 to $111,645– McCain: Cut $1,009 / Obama: Cut $1,290

$37,596 to $66,354– McCain: Cut $319 / Obama: Cut $1,042

$18,982 to $37,595– McCain: Cut $113 / Obama: Cut $567

Up to $18,981– McCain: Cut $19 / Obama: Cut $567

The Trail, Palin Impersonators Strip for Their Supper

While GOP vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin drew a large and enthusiastic crowd today in Golden, Colo., she skipped another Denver-area event being held in her honor: the “Sarah Palin Strip Off” that will take place tonight at Shotgun Willies Show Club on South Colorado Boulevard.

The strip club event — which is not to be confused with the establishment’s “Body Art Wednesday” and “Thursday Amateur Strip Off” — is just a joke, according to the club’s doorman Matt. (Matt, for some reason, declined to give The Trail his last name but asked to be called “Doormat.”)

“When the DNC was here, Bill Clinton was featured for three nights in a row,” he explained, referring to a performer during the Democratic National Convention last month.

Politico, Wall St. Greed Hits Main St. Oh noes! People care about this shit now!

We have now found out, much to our dismay, that the stock market is not actually fueled by helium. It does not always go up. And, even more distressing, the real reason for the collapse of giant financial institutions still seems shrouded in fog. It can’t all be because a relatively small number of people took out some risky mortgages.

Kansas City Star, Applebees Diet Menu Called a Fraud God bless America…

A lawsuit filed in federal court in Kansas City, Kan., accuses Applebee’s International of causing consumers to unwittingly consume higher-than-advertised fat and calories by mislabeling its Weight Watchers menu items.

The racketeering lawsuit, which also names Applebee’s parent company, DineEquity of Glendale, Calif., and Weight Watchers International of New York, seeks class-action certification. Among the counts listed in the lawsuit are fraud, unjust enrichment and civil conspiracy.

Pygmalion in a Blanket, the best the city has to offer, apparently I really, really agree with you, dude. There’s no way this will work.

It appears that Lifetime has started shooting their LNS-themed, unintentional parody of faux celebrity realism here in the most northwestern parts of north-west DC. My first instinct says it’ll never even make on the air. But if I’m wrong and in 8 months the network decides to air it, they will soon regret any amount of money they have clearly wasted. Lifetime would be better off leaving the restaurant right now and filming any garbage blowing down M Street. It already looks to be of better quality.

And, again from Politico, GOP gets no love from musicians LOL!

Cease-and-desist letters from musicians have rained down like confetti on Republicans over the years. But nothing compares to the virtual commune full of left-leaning artists who are mad at John McCain right now, though, in most cases, they have no legal basis to stop him from using their songs.

Have a fabulous Tuesday, everyone! I’ll be at my desk, trying not to lean one way or the other.

– Belle