Category Archives: News

Barack, We Need to Talk…

Obama smokes. Yeah, Mike, we know.

Now, I have been enjoying Obama euphoria as much as anyone. Without it, the prospect would be depressing indeed. But where is the skepticism? If Obama actually has accomplished the miracle of giving up cigarettes at the apogee of a presidential race, he should be happy to let us know this and add to his superman image. And if he hasn’t? Well, if he is straight with us about it, we should forgive him. So he’s not a superman. Neither are we. In a democracy, that is a good thing for ruler and ruled to know they have in common. Furthermore, as presidential vices go, this one is not near the top. As for being a role model for youths, Obama’s good habits outweigh this single bad one. He’s great on hydration, apparently.

Personally, lighting up just ain’t that big of a deal for me. Mr. Belle smokes, not all the time but maybe a few cigarettes a day, and I’m one of the only non-smokers I know who doesn’t mind kissing somebody who has a cancer stick hanging out of their mouth regularly. There are many, many people who disagree with me, however. And, honestly, when it comes to Barry I kind of agree with them.

When you say that smoking makes O more human or less supermaobaman, I guess it’s true; but how human is the president supposed to be? How flawed is someone with that much power allowed to be? We have a noble history of flawed presidents to look back on, for sure, but with O simultaneously being the harbinger of a grand cultural shift and under the magnifying glass of “OMG YOU’RE BLACK, KIND OF,” there isn’t much room for being flawed. There also isn’t room for saying you’ve quit, you haven’t quit, you’re wanting to quit and your wife is inspiring you to quit, all at the same time. It’s distracting.

Sure, anti-smoking guy is on your side and that wins you brownie points, but Barack, what I really need is an actual plan. I need to know that you can stick to your guns and follow through on either smoking or not smoking. Preferably the latter. Because there are so many bigger things for you to follow through on… not to mention national security and not getting carpal tunnel. Quitting would show me and the rest of America that you are dependable, even for the little things, and that you will prioritize your health so that you can hopefully lead us for a very long time. Leading us on might make us get all angry-woman-scorned on you, and that really would have worse consequences for you than for the old white guy we would normally have elected.

I mean, we chose you over Old Man Melanoma, right? Now that the pressure’s over, somewhat, put the cigs down. Compared to what you have to do in a few months, (and, like, right now) this is nothing.




When the Cat’s Away…

Posts are coming. A new lay-out is coming. Change… you can has it!




Because Killer Instinct Happened Way Too Long Ago

Combo Breaker

Congratulations, Barack.  God damn it, if you eff this up…

My Friends, Americans Are Scary F$*@kers

Via the Guardian:

The connection to the Order is evident in the numbers the two men scrawled on their car on Saturday shortly before they were arrested: 14 and 88. The so-called Fourteen Words is a slogan – “We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children” – coined by Order member David Lane, who also wrote an essay called 88 Precepts. In white supremacist circles, 14-88 is a shorthand expression of allegiance to the beliefs put forth by Lane and the Order, who wanted to found a white homeland where they could preserve the “Aryan race” from being polluted by non-whites and enslaved by the “Zionist-occupied government” of the US. Lane also advocated polygamy and a kind of European paganism he called Wotanism.

All those pent-up racist emotions that crazy people have kept relatively pent up are going to come waaay out of the woodwork if my boy wins. Good luck to us all…

But! Maybe McCain will pull it out? Check out Real Clear Politics’ fun stats and waste a few hours biting your fingernails about it!

Let’s Just Get This Over With

McCain is feeling feisty! At least, so says the Herald. And ya know what, that is not a bad way to describe the little bugger. I’m sure he is just chomping at the bit to either avoid the emergency RNC meeting scheduled for after the election (sshhh) so he can avoid the plane crash (ZING!) or pop some bottles and let Cindy steal just a tiny sip of champagne to choke down those painkillers as she realizes she’s actually First Lady. (Whoops! Too far? I do feel bad for her. She’s in a bad marriage and probably hates her life more than any of us can imagine. If she needs some little white helpers to get her through, so be it.) Republicans are pushing away old Bushy to let McCain have the spotlight, or try, anyway, on the eve of Election Day. Speculations about the results are raging (this Kenyan newspaper is actually a really interesting read, and totally doesn’t have a favorite candidate, LOL. Did you know they have a bull ready for celebratory slaughter when they find out he wins? Par-tay!) and Americans are trying to remember if they’ve already voted or not.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. I AM SO SICK OF THIS ELECTION. So the fact that tomorrow is voting day and tomorrow night is speculation night and Wednesday and Thursday and Friday are recount days just excites me like nothing else. IT WILL FINALLY BE OVERRRRR!!!

But, on the eve of this momentous and dragged out election, we gotta send condolences out to Barry: His grandmother passed away in Honolulu. 😦 Sad faces all around… here’s hoping he has a few minutes to actually grieve before he has to lead the free world, or whatever.

CNN Political Ticker: All politics, all the time Blog Archive – Virginia trying to combat misinformation about Election Day « – Blogs from

via CNN Political Ticker: All politics, all the time Blog Archive – Virginia trying to combat misinformation about Election Day « – Blogs from

The Virginia State Board of Elections is putting the word out: November 4 is Election Day for everyone in the state, regardless of political party.

The state agency issued a “Rumor Buster” press release this week with the correct date for voting in next week’s election because a fake flyer has been circulating with false information.

Click here to see the fake flyer

The flier said incorrectly that Republicans and Republican-leaning independent voters should vote November 4 and that Democrats and Democratic-leaning independents should vote November 5. The flyer claims that the separate dates for voting by party were enacted by the Virginia legislature to ease the strain on the polls during high turnout that is expected.

Keep watching for these stories, peeps, they are EVERYWHERE and SCARY AS HELL.

McCain Campaign now rekindling long-dormant sympathy pangs in indie kids

I have no qualms with John McCain as a human being.  Either he hasn’t stabbed any toddlers in a very long time, or he has an extremely good coverup team (well, he IS with the GOP…)  So I don’t think he’s a bad guy, I just disagree almost across the board with his policies.  That’s why I can’t help but feel bad for him when he throws out an interview like the one he did with Meet The Press’ Tom Brokaw.  If you didn’t see it, I would recommend against it.  I honestly feel bad for the guy, no irony or snarkiness intended.  Despite what the rest of this post might lead you to believe.

She has more executive experience than Sen. Biden and Sen. Obama, together. She took on the governor of her own party because she had seen what she’s thought was corruption. She’s been a mayor. She has 24,000 people underneath her. Her husband is a, uh, works the third shift on the oil who…in…facilities in the North Slope. He’s a, ah… the-they have a won…she has executive experience…

When you see verbal gaffes dictated like that, you think you get the full effect by just imagining yourself saying them verbatim.  However, in this case, it doesn’t really achieve the full effect, unless you can also imagine yourself dangling from a dark precipice in despair, straining to maintain an increasingly more tenuous grip on what you know, deep down inside your soul, to be your last chance at attaining the Presidency of the United States.  The transcript writers just jotted down “uh” because they’re not allowed to get all interpretive, otherwise it would have read like this:

She has more executive experience than Sen. Biden and Sen. Obama, together. She took on the governor of her own party because she had seen what she’s thought was corruption. She’s been a mayor. She has 24,000 people underneath her. Her husband is a, uh, works the third shift on the oil who…in…

[McCain pauses to emanate a series of giggles and nervous twitters that sound as though an autistic squirrel is trapped inside his larynx, and in its wild escape attempts manages to tickle McCain in all the wrong (or right?) places]

…facilities in the North Slope. He’s a, ah…

[McCain pauses, turns to stare at the camera, and allows a solitary tear to stream down his left cheek.]

the-they have a won…she has executive experience…

[McCain reaches into his trouser pockets to produce a six-shot revolver, a flask, and a single bullet.  He drinks deeply from the flask for several moments, then throws it over his shoulder, and loads the bullet into the gun and deliberately chambers the round.  He hefts the gun lightly between his finger tips, then places it gently on the table and slides it towards Brokaw, his eyes pleading.]

MSNBC’s Meet The Press, which is wonky and really hard to link directly to a single video (sorry)