Category Archives: Ivan

Over it yet? Me neither.

Barack Obama is the President-elect.
Sarah Palin is still hanging around.
Joe Biden reminds me of Samwise Gamgee.
John McCain seems as if he knew this was going to happen about 6 months ago.

When it comes down to it, it all feels so strange. Almost as if this is how it was supposed to happen. What, I wonder, could possibly come next? YTMND aside, I’ll be in the District for the Inauguration and I’m excited because I totally have an awesome camera with a big memory card. I was there for the Inauguration in 2000, so it should be interesting to compare the atmosphere of today to the violence and anger that so permeated that transition.

What the hell are we going to be posting about, now that the election is over?
I’m not sure about my associates here at Jasandbelle, but I have a few good ideas.

How about the Wars? Seriously, holy sweet mother mercy, will they ever end. I mean, come on, what the hell? It’s getting less violent, but people are still getting killed and the factional bitterness is just as strong as it ever was. A good example of why things are not as violent as they used to be in Iraq is the 1920 Revolution Brigade. The 1920 Revolution Brigade is an Iraqi group, formed in 2003 for one purpose – find and kill American soldiers. They are among the best in Iraq at  that. Al-Sadr’s militia is far larger and better trained, but they’re being controlled in the same way the 1920 Revolution Brigade is being controlled. We are paying them enormous sums of money. The 1920s operate out of the Diyala Province which, strangely enough, is still a pretty nasty place to hang out. We pay the militias anyway, mainly because we need someone to keep tabs on these guys. When we pull out, are these guys still going to get paid? If they aren’t, can the Iraqis deal with these armed groups? If they can’t, at what point does the United States become obligated to return? Is there any such point?
Change has indeed come to America. The question is, how much we can spread around to places where our soldiers are dying?

How about the economy? I don’t want to get into it. Screw the DOW. If you want an indication of how we’re doing overall, look at gas prices. They are absolutely falling through the floor. Don’t go thinking it’s a good thing. The reason it’s coming down is because industrialized countries all over the world are taking it up the proverbial tailpipe, so demand is going down. Gas should cost around 3.60 USD for a gallon of regular unleaded. I’m not going into it. We’ll be here all day.

George W. Bush is preparing to write his memoirs. Did you ever think you’d hear that? Believe it.

The new expansion for World of Warcraft is out today. The myriad swarms will, without a shred of doubt, seclude themselves for another year or so before emerging, gloriously, with yet another false sense of accomplishment. Believe me, I know, I’m a recovering addict.

Whatever. Quit freaking out.
There’s always sports!

~ Ivan

Advertisements

Hey, Pennsylvania, what the hell is up?

Palin Gets Owned

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/01/masked-avengers-prank-cal_n_140023.html

‘Nuff said.

Theater of the Absurd

I’m sure everyone is flipping out about the election but hell, it’s not like Obama can lose. Has anybody noticed that the liberal media bias is totally kicking ass right now? I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for the thunder. Senator McCain seems to have deluded himself into thinking he actually has a chance. This belief is probably rooted in some kind of faith in the Bradley effect. To be honest, it’s something I fear. It is a serious possibility. Americans suck sometimes.

Meanwhile, I hope everyone is staying vigilant. Our country is sinking into a pit of shit. Regardless of who becomes president, there are dangerous precedents being set and George Orwell is spinning in his grave at the moment. More on the America’s epic transition from beacon of liberty and justice to totalitarian dictatorship tonite.

Geopolitical Sadism

I haven’t been posting lately because I’ve been incredibly busy getting my life and such in order. I now work for a major electronics retailer which, as I’m sure you can imagine, is a fairly stressful thing to jump in to just before the holiday season. Having said that, I have maintained my dedication to following the “scene”. I want to address an issue that seems to have woven itself into the background of the imminent Presidential Election.

Osama bin Laden will never be apprehended by the United States Armed Forces. Let that sink in. It will never happen in our lifetimes. I am not speculating or guessing or anything close to it, I am absolutely certain that Osama bin Laden will never be apprehended by any branch of our military.

The obvious response to this claim is something along the lines of:
“How do you know? What does some guy living in a hick town across from a church know about whether Osama will face justice or not? What makes you so sure?”

Let’s assume Osama bin Laden is apprehended by a US patrol in Afghanistan somewhere. Whoever is in charge of the unit that captures him informs his superior officer. The news travels up the chain of command. Somewhere along the way, the information gets out and the mainstream media has a field day.
What happens after this will surely be a spectacle of momentous blood lust. Assuming some nutcase doesn’t blow him away before he gets into protective custody, he’ll go to prison and eventually stand trial for his insane schemes and be put to death – if they don’t lock him up and study his brain like they did with Charles Manson.
On the other side, news of his capture will so vigorously galvanize Islamic Fundamentalism that it’ll make the incendiary effects of the Iraq Invasion look like a toaster fire. Capturing and putting Osama bin Laden in to US custody is, in the simplest of terms, one the worst possible scenarios imaginable if you’re trying to avoid inciting further hostility and attempting to ensure the deescalation of violence in the Middle East. Executing him would be the strategic equivalent of the entire Western world committing suicide.

However, it is likely that many elements of the US Government and several prominent politicians welcome the escalation of violence in the Middle East. Capturing or executing Osama bin Laden would provide, through the sudden and severe destabilization of the results of all the hard work by the Armed Forces of the United States over the past 5 years, the perfect justification for the leadership of this great nation of ours to commit us to Lord Knows What.

So, pray everybody. Pray that he’s dead already and that his followers hushed it up. Pray that he didn’t get his dialysis. Pray that his remains were too decomposed to identify when they were found. Pray that he ate a bullet from his own AK-47 somewhere remote.

Most importantly, pray that, if he is found alive, our military leadership has the foresight and resolve to hush it up before one of those morons on the Hill attempts to use his capture as political leverage and DOOMS US ALL.

Senator McCain has vowed to follow him to the gates of Hell. Make no mistake, in doing so, he would be dragging us along with him.

I’d love to pontificate about the absurdity of the ongoing Presidential Campaigns and what has become the total and complete self-delusion by anyone in this country who has convinced themselves that American Hegemony is alive and well, but there are only so many gray hairs I can hide on my big head.

~Ivan

Oh Snap! of the Day

ivan: LOL
ivan: when we went to t’s uncle’s place
ivan: his wife had his daughters baby there
ivan: and the baby was chewing on some rubber chew toy thing
ivan: and with an entirely serious face
ivan: i looked the baby in the eyes
ivan: witht he rubber thing hanging from it’s jaws and said
ivan: “that’s not food, noob”

belle: ROFL
belle: OH SNAP
belle: IN THAT BABY’S FAE
belle: FACE

ivan: omg i wasn’t being malicious
ivan: noobs are people too
ivan: its not every day you see a IRL noob
ivan: especially one that isn’t even level 1 yet

belle: rofl

Seriously now…

WHO DO YOU THINK IS ABOUT TO GET OWNED?

~Ivan